I have a number of working mothers in my marketing department and several have arranged flexible work schedules to accommodate their changing work/life demands. Flexible work schedules are becoming much more common as employers recognize it as valuable tool for retaining their top talent and promoting work/life balance. In my department we have a number of different kinds of arrangements.For instance, “Tanya”* is the mother of two elementary school-age children. During the school year she works shorter work days on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, while working longer days on Mondays and Fridays. Meanwhile, “Rebecca” works from home two days per week. I too have a flexible work schedule that I started when I returned from maternity leave last winter; I work from home every Wednesday.

So how do you go about convincing your boss you won’t lose productivity if you work a flexible schedule? You need to do your homework.

• Check to see if your company has a written policy about flex time. Educate yourself about your company’s policies before you formally submit your request. You may find that your company leaves the decision to manager discretion. This is the case at my company.
• Build your case. Develop a sound written argument for why you need a flexible schedule. Kids starting school and want to be available to pick them up? Looking for a more effective way to balance the competing demands of a heavy work load and busy family life? Spell out what you are hoping to achieve and communicate how the company will benefit as a result.
• Develop multiple options. Key to building your argument is presenting several options to your boss. For example, you might propose a compressed work week (40 hours in four days) or working two six hour days and three nine hour days. The goal is to come up with a few different options that work for you and accommodate your supervisor’s needs of you as an employee.
• Submit a formal request in writing and then ask to review the request in person. This is too important to be done as a drive-by discussion or for just a written submission with no follow up.  Be prepared to respond to any objections or concerns your supervisor may have by thinking through the kinds of questions you may be asked.
• Offer a 60 or 90-day trial period. The biggest fear your boss has is that you will be less productive working a flexible schedule. Show you are willing to minimize the risk to the company by offering a trial period after which time you and your supervisor can determine if the arrangement should continue.
• Be flexible. The most important part of working a flexible schedule is being willing to be flexible. Let your boss know that on days that you are needed (say, for an important meeting or business travel), you’ll change your schedule to be available.

The good news is there are many ways to make a flexible schedule work for you and your company but it’s up to you to make the case.  Do you work a flexible schedule? What do you know now that you wish you had known before making the change?

*All names have been changed.

This past Saturday I went grocery shopping with D2 in tow.  He was restless and trying to escape from the cart’s child safety belt as the checkout clerk loaded our cart up with bags. Observing that I clearly had my hands full, the bag boy asked me if I needed any help out to my car. I told him, “No, thanks.  I got it.”Just the other night, I was putting D2 down for bed with our normal routine of a bottle and story in our favorite rocking chair. Now getting this child to sleep every night requires the patience of Job. That night I had a lot of work I still needed to do and I was stressed about how long it would take to get my munchkin to bed.   Dr. D. came in and asked me if  I wanted him to put D2 to bed. I told him it was fine and that I’d just go ahead and do it.  ”You sure?” he asked. “Yeah, I got it.” See a pattern here?

As busy moms with demanding jobs we often talk about how we are starved for time. More help is always at the top of our wish list. So when it’s offered, why do we turn it down? Is it because we are such control freaks that we don’t think anyone can help us? Is it because we worry that we’ll lose our Super Woman status if we dare ask for or accept help? I know for me (and an unscientific poll of my girlfriends reveals a similar truth) I often think it’s “easier” to just take care of something myself than to ask for help. I don’t know where this attitude comes from. Maybe it’s from being the oldest of three children and being used to shouldering a lot of responsibility. Maybe it’s because I secretly believe that if something is easy, I haven’t earned it. Then I think about all of the things I might have done (or NOT had to do) if I wasn’t so damn stubborn and insistent on doing everything myself.

Here’s what I know for sure: there are no brownie points in the Game of Life for taking the hard way. Help is a gift and there is no shame in taking the path of least resistance to get what you need done. I think every mom deserves her own Easy Button but in the absence of that a good old-fashioned helping hand will do just fine. Next time you find yourself saying “No thanks” to an offer of help, stop and ask yourself if you are turning away a gift that could change your life – or at least make your day.

Do you have a hard time accepting or asking for help?