Here’s a quick challenge. Log onto your Facebook page and look at the last few months of photos. How many of those photos are of your kids? How many of those photos are you in? Now go to the Facebook page of a friend who doesn’t have kids. How many pictures have they posted that are of themselves (with or without other people in them)? See a pattern?

Sometimes a blog post hits me dead between the eyes.

Lisa Belkin’s post last week in the Huffington Post did just that. In it she writes of the overwhelming reader response to an essay by Allison Tate who wrote about her quest to put herself back in her children’s pictures after noticing that she had fewer and fewer pictures of herself with her kids.

Tate asked how someone so omnipresent in her children’s lives could be so absent in the documentation of their lives? It got me thinking. How many pictures do I have of myself with D2? Turns out not as many as I thought.

I remember when I posted the photo below on my Facebook page. I loved the contrast of D2′s face against the colorful design on my dress. One of my friends commented, “Love the photo but where is mommy?” Indeed, where is she? Who is she?

As I look back on the last three years of photos with D2, I realize that as he has gotten older, I am in fewer and fewer photos with him.

I’ve always shied away from  being defined only by my role as a mother.  As much as I love being a mother, I feel myself cringing when people say “Oh, you’re D2′s mommy!”  I want to say, “Yes, but I’m lots of other things too, not just a mother.”

Am I subconsciously opting out of pictures to make a statement? Or is something else at work?

Or maybe it’s that like lots of mothers, I see so many flaws in my “post-baby” body and pictures only serve as a reminder that some days I just don’t feel or look all that fabulous. I wish my butt was smaller and my boobs were perkier. I wish I didn’t have so many moles on my face. The list goes on and on. Every now and then when the stars align I feel like I look good enough to take a picture.

But what I realize from reading Allison Tate’s essay is that’s a pretty selfish reason to opt out of pictures.  Truth be told, D2 doesn’t care if I need a hair cut or if I am ten pounds too heavy. He doesn’t care if I’m wearing lipgloss or if my eyebrows are perfectly shaped ready for my closeup.

No, he cares about hugs, kisses for his boo boos and our time together in his rocking chair where we record silly videos and take snapshots on my iPhone every single night – without  fail. He needs to see me. He needs to know that when I am long gone, he can look back at our photos and see the documentation of a mother who loved him more than anything else in the world. I was there with him.

So like lots of moms who were moved by Allison Tate’s essay, I’m putting myself back in the picture.

What I know for sure is that no documentation of D2′s life is complete without me in them. Your turn. Do you take photos with your kids? Do you ever find that you are missing from pictures of important family moments? What do you think of Allison Tate’s challenge?

 

 

 

 

 

Earlier this month, I resolved to accept the realities of my slowing metabolism, clean up my diet and lose the tummy pooch I gained from my pregnancy with D2. Armed with Tosca Reno’s Eat Clean Diet Cookbook and a copy of Clean Eating Magazine, I’ve been working on changing my family’s diet by weeding out white sugar, white flour and incorporating a wide variety of fruits and vegetables into our meals. Because I love to cook and we’ve always eaten relatively healthily, it hasn’t been as big of a change as I thought. The biggest challenge has been breaking our (my) addiction to carbohydrates and sugar. I’ve been pleasantly surprised that all of the recipes I’ve made thus far have left me feeling satisfied and without the normal carb jones that I get from eating certain meals. Bonus? I’m feeling much more clear-headed and energetic. I truly feel that the food I’m eating now is fueling my body and not just filling it up. Here are a few recipes I’ve tried this week.

This recipe for Crockpot Porridge from Tosca Reno’s Eat Clean Diet Cook book and companion website  is my new favorite breakfast. It’s super fast to make and is very tasty. I eat it with a side of scrambled egg whites and it keeps me feeling full until late morning.

Cook’s notes: Keep an eye on this dish and stir frequently as some crock pots cook faster than others. Also, I couldn’t find rye flakes at my local Whole Foods so I substituted bulgar and also added a dash of cinnamon.  I’ve made this dish now with both milk and almond milk and both versions were very tasty.  You can whip up a batch of this cereal and then refrigerate and store in a tupperware container for up to a week. To reheat, simply add a little milk or water and then heat for 1-2 minutes. Fab!

Crock Pot Porridge

• 1/2 cup / 120 ml cracked wheat
• 1 1/2 cup / 335 ml steel cut oats
• 1/2 cup / 120 ml rye flakes
• 1/2 cup / 120 ml brown rice
• 1/4 cup / 60 ml wheat germ
• 6 1/2 cups / 1.5 L water or any combination of liquids including water, rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, goats milk and/or water to equal 6 1/2 cups
• 1/2 cup / 120 ml raisins
• 1/2 cup / 120 ml chopped dates (or other dried fruit like cranberries or raisins)
• 1 1/2 tbsp / 22 ml best-quality vanilla
• Pinch nutmeg

Preparation

1. Place all ingredients in a 3-quart-or-greater crock-pot. Stir well to combine all ingredients. Cover.
2. Set on lowest cooking temperature and cook overnight. If your crock-pot cooking time is set by length of cooking time, set for the longest cooking time and lowest heat.
3. Spoon into cereal bowls in the morning and serve piping hot!

I also tried out a couple of other recipes from the October issue of Clean Eating Magazine. Below is Garlic-Cilantro Shrimp Rotini, a clean recipe submitted by a reader. Made with whole-wheat pasta and fresh shrimp, this is a lighter, healthier version of a traditional pasta with pesto sauce dish. The combination of garlic, cilantro and olive oil is so fresh tasting, you’ll wonder what took you so long to discover this dish. We loved it!

I also tried my hand at the Southwestern Turkey Meatball Skillet Supper from Clean Eating Magazine. The recipe makes four – six servings and I had hoped to get a couple of meals out of this recipe but Dr. D. loved the dish so much he ate nearly the entire thing in one sitting. Next time, I’ll double the recipe. The flavor was fantastic and at only 4 grams of fat per one cup serving, this dish will be on regular rotation at Chez Boss Mom. Have you made any changes to your family’s diet? What worked and what didn’t? Do share!